Romance is an attitude of appreciation. When one is in love, positive feelings overflow. It is a state of being prepared to share the joy that one feels.

Last month, after months of being focused on getting Earn It published, while the books were being printed, I decided to take my wife on a Caribbean vacation to spend time with her and reinforce that I appreciate her. When entering the country, the stoic  immigration officer mumbled, "Anything to declare?" I impulsively replied, "I declare that I love my wife." Not only did my wife smile, but the apparently unhappy and bored public servant shared a giant smile that would have melted an Alaskan igloo in January.

I wasn't planning to flatter my wife. I hadn't done anything wrong for which I was trying to make amends. I was happy to be getting away with her and didn't mind sharing that fact. In doing so, I created a couple smiles...not to mention the smiles that I have felt on my own as I reflect on the incident. Focusing on the positive creates a self-perpetuating cycle that leads to more positive thoughts and more importantly, more positive behavior. Try it.

Here are the first three ratings of the book, three 5-Star reviews posted on Amazon.com regarding Earn It:

"I finished the book last weekend. After a career in sales we need to realize that your wife is your most important customer. We end up looking for new customers and sometimes take your existing customers for granted. The book was an excellent review of the things not to do and more importantly the things TO DO. Listen to her conversation and don't open your mouth without thinking how what you are about to say will sound like. Maybe you won't say it. After awhile we all get lazy and maybe slack off. Surprise her and make her feel special. Don't take her for granted! " by James

"This book is a must read. It will definitely open your eyes and teach you a lot about relationships. I have heard of some couples reading it to each other and using the book as a tool to strengthen their relationship. I would highly recommend this book to anyone looking to get into a relationship or who is currently in a relationship. The author helps you to learn about yourself and how your interactions with others affect your relationship. A great read for anyone, I really enjoyed it! " by Rick

"The ideas and parallels that are used thru out this book are insightful. I find many of the 'lessons learned' are applicable in many types of relationships from marital, business, to even providing to young men and women prior to serious relationships! If all of the young men (and women) had a role model in life to learn these lessons there might be a lot more responsible relationships later in life! Great job Bob!" by opinioninfolcomca

Thank you all for your feedback. I look forward to more... 

Romance Contest—Would you like some fresh ideas about romancing? Earn It: Empower Yourself for Love is going to conduct a Romance Contest to post on its blog, possibly publish in a newsletter or even a follow-up book. Will you share some ways that you have romanced, have been romanced, or would like to be romanced? Stories can be as simple as a special smile or an assuring touch in a time of need, placing a candy bar on your loved one’s dashboard, or as complex as planning a romantic weekend get away. By sharing your memories and dreams, you can help others and they can help you.

 

Contest rules are simple: 1) Stories can be true or fantasy; 2) Deadline for submissions will be November 1, 2010; 3) There will be awards for first place (a romantic Bed & Breakfast for two nights for two people), second place-a set of Brenda Novak romance novels that is autographed by the author, and third place-a soap and candle bath set; 4) Judges will be Bob and Chris Quinlan, their joint-decisions will be final; 5) contestants may submit multiple stories and 6) submit to the blog at http://bobsblog.earnitbook.com .

 

Please limit your stories to 500 words and post them on this blog. By submitting them to this blog, you are authorizing them to be shared and re-published. Thank you for loving on others that you don’t even know. That is true love. Way to Earn It! Please return to this blog frequently to see others’ ideas on how to romance. You may find something (or several things) you’d like to share with your partner. Enjoy!

Several people asked how they could be even more supportive of the book to help it possibly become a best seller. Those that buy the book now have a first printing of a first edition-one of only 1,200 such books. Here are some ways you can help:

   Please B.R.E.A.D. it (I actually made this up):

B-Buy the book(s) at the website www.earnitbook.com , Amazon.com or at Borders bookstore in Folsom; you can buy copies for friends and family to show yet another way that you are willing to "earn it". If you buy the book(s) at www.earnitbook.com, I personally fill the orders, so I can autograph it (or them) for you for free. The website and Amazon have both paperback and eBook forms available.

R-Read the book.

E-Evaluate the book as highly as possible (a 5-stars rating is tops) at https://www.amazon.com/gp/sign-in.html?ie=UTF8&email=&disableCorpSignUp=&path=%2Fgp%2Fcustomer-reviews%2Fcreate-review&redirectProtocol=&mode=&useRedirectOnSuccess=1&query=store%3D%26asin%3D0982739605&accountStatusPolicy=&pageAction=%2Fgp%2Fcustomer-reviews%2Fcreate-review . These ratings DO make a difference!

A-Advertise it by telling friends, family, co-workers, club members or anybody else about the book's benefits.

D-Demonstrate the behaviors learned in Earn It to show your partner and others that they actually WILL allow you to be even more loved. For specific examples of how to romance, read about the upcoming Romance Contest and newsletter...

THANK YOU to the 250 people that showed up for the book launch party of Earn It: Empower Yourself for Love! It was quite touching to see so much support and curiosity. As I shared with Chris, I felt like I was at my own funeral, seeing friends from high school and previous-co-workers (including my previous nursing supervisor from thirty years ago!) Facebook and word of mouth are amazing! The Borders manager, Marc, said that was one of the most successful events he had ever seen, especially for a first-time author. I've read that the typical book signing at a bookstore sells 4 books; we sold 95 books that night-thank you very much! I signed 52 books, so I know those people but 43 people bought them at the front desk, so I have no idea who they were. Chris said several people told her they'd ask me to sign a book later since the line was too long (often a dozen people deep.) We are sincerely appreciative of so much support. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. You may view pictures of the event by visiting http://picasaweb.google.com/bobquinlan1/EarnItBookLaunchPARTY# .

 

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The books are printed and on their way from Tennessee. They'd best get here by Friday, for Earn It's book launch PARTY! It will be unlike any other book launch party, with a free outdoor concert provided by the 11-member,  mostly Folsom physicians band of Have Mercy, free Segway riding lessons, PowerPoint presentations about the book, and free poetry readings by local poet Frances Kakugawa. It will be at the Borders bookstore at 2765 E. Bidwell in Folsom, CA on Friday, June 18 from 6-10 p.m. Hopefully you can join us, there is no RSVP required. Since it is an outdoor concert, there is plenty of room, so please bring any guests you like.

The evolution of the book continues…working with Authority Publishing, their book cover designer, Lewis Agrell, has come up with a cover that I believe even more accurately describes the intent of the book. The previous cover design used the concept of a stock in which partners can invest more to receive more, love can appear more or less valuable at different times:

 

 

 

The new cover of a scale, represents the universe’s forces to maintain a sense of balance. If more of a substance (love or gold) is added to one side of the scale, eventually more needs to be added to the other side of the scale. If not, eventually some will be removed from the other side to re-establish the necessary balance. You may add more love to your relationship to receive more. If you give less, your partner may eventually give less. Which would you prefer? Keep in mind that your partner has the same options.

 

What are your thoughts?

When I first heard that publishing the book was as much work as writing the book, I was skeptical. I now understand. After submitting to the publisher a manuscript that had been edited by a dozen people, two of which have masters (one a masters in English) the professional editor was much more thorough and discovered several unnoticed errors that needed correcting. Additionally, it was suggested that I ask each author quoted in Earn It for permission to quote them. E-mails were used when available, to expedite the process, but over a dozen letters were mailed as well. The process continues. I look forward to starting the contest for seeking romantic ideas for a possible newsletter to share how to best romance partners. Stay tuned...

It truly is amazing what a difference professionals can make. With the help of Mark Henry and web master Brian Shirey, we had developed a logo and book cover that I really liked. I thought it visually displayed the nature of the book--a stock symbol with a heart on the increasing arrow, demonstrated that love can decrease or increase in value. When Authority Publishing proposed their idea, nine of the eleven friends that edited the book and 24 of the 25 attendees at the speakers club I've joined (Sacramento Speakers Network) all agreed that the new idea is even better. And my wife LOVED it! Using a balancing scale with each side holding a heart in the tray, represents the balance required in a healthy relationship. The colors are softer, which better appeal to ladies (who buy 90% of the relationship books.) Thank you to designer Lewis Agrell. So, the evolution continues. After twelve friends and relatives edited the book, professional editor Amberly Finarelli is finding even more corrections to make Earn It as polished as possible. Thank you, Stephanie Chandler and your staff at Authority Publishing!

Here comes the book! I signed a contract with Authority Publishing to make Earn It available to the public on June 18, 2010. More details to come, but rest assured, it will NOT be a typical book launch signing with the author quietly sitting at a table in a bookstore hoping that five people will stop by. This will be the biggest Quinlan party yet! Stay tuned for details...